Matchmaker
by Malfoy Mouth James- MMJ
Summary: In witch Plagg is done and is everyone’s matchmaker.


"I'm so _bored!"_ Adrien cried. He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he complained for the fifth time in thirty minutes.

"Go see Pigtails, or something." Plagg grumbled from where he sat in front of Adrien's computer.

" _'Pigtails'_?" Adrien repeated.

"Yeah, Pigtails. You know, that girl in your class with the _blue pigtails."_

"Oh, you mean Marinette?"

"Yeah, yeah, her. Go do something with her." He hopped around on the keyboard a few times, his eyes never leaving the big screen.

"Why? I don't think Marinette likes me very much." Adrien mused with a sigh. It's not like he wouldn't like to hang out with Marinette, it's that _she_ didn't like to spend time with _him._

Plagg shrugged his tiny shoulders. "She's cute."

Adrien blinked, sitting up to peer suspiciously over at his Kwami. "Excuse me? Since when do you think girls are cute?"

" _I_ don't think she's cute, but I've been alive for thousands of years. I know the types of girls people think are cute."

"Oh?"

"Let's just say I have yet to find a charge who doesn't have an obsession with a girl. Pigtails is in that class of girls most often fawned over."

Adrien hummed in thought. "I mean, I _guess_ Mari's kind of... cute? But Ladybug is still cuter.

"Don't you think Pigtails kind of looks like Ladybug?" Plagg said offhandedly, clicking on some other thing on the computer. For how much he complains about Adrien's use of technology, the kwami sure did sit in front of the computer for hours.

Adrien blinked. "No."

"No?" Plagg repeated, as if giving him the chance to retract his statement. "But she's got the same blue hair and pigtails, and they both have blue eyes, and if you ask me Ladybug looks a little... Chinese?"

"What are you trying to say? That Mari is Ladybug?" Adrien asked.

Plagg shrugged again. "No. Just saying that if you think Ladybug is cute then Pigtails should be cute, too."

"Mari's my friend. I don't need to think she's cute. It would be weird if I did."

"Oh, like how she thinks you're cute?" Plagg muttered irriatedly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Go back to being bored if you don't want to listen to my expertise."

Adrien groaned and flopped back on his bed.

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"Hey look, It's Ladybug!" Plagg whispered from Adrien's shirt pocket.

"What? Where?!" Adrien exclaimed, looking around.

"Right there! Talking to the reporter girl."

Adrien looked to were Plagg was pointing and saw Alya. "Plagg," he groaned, "that's Marinette."

"Whoops. My bad."

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"Wow, you know what?" Plagg whispered to Adrien as he walked with Nino, Marinette, and Alya to get ice cream one day after school.

"What?" Adrien murmured back.

"Pigtails got some cool earrings. I just noticed them. I wonder when she got them? They're a nice shade of red, don't you think?"

"What?" Adrien furrowed his brow. "I didn't know she wore earrings."

"Oh yeah. She never takes them off. Wears them every day. Most of the time they don't match her clothes." Plagg snickered.

Adrien shrugged. "I never noticed." He walked up by Marinette.

"Hey, Mari! Nice earrings! Are they new?" He said cheerily.

She jumped at his voice and immediately went tomato red. Her mouth moved soundlessly as she tried to speak.

"I- er... uh, no, I-I got uh... I uh... T-They are er, old? Y-Yeah... they were uh, my... my Mamans!" She spluttered.

"Oh, cool! So they're like, an heirloom?" He asked.

"Heheh... You could say t-that." Marinette murmured, smiling oddly.

"Uh... alright then."

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

In his shirt pocket Plagg scoffed and face palmed.

"Pigtails sure does wear a lot of pink, doesn't she?"

"Uh, I guess?" Adrien responded absentmindedly as he worked on his physics homework.

"She wears pink like, every day. I bet you her whole room is pink or something. It's like it's her favorite color."

"Ladybug's favorite color is pink." Adrien sighed dreamily.

"Is it now?" Plagg hummed, small paw resting on his cheek. "What a coincidence..."

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"Hey is that Ladybug over there? Wow she's wearing a really pretty dress!" Plagg said as Adrien walked into the lunchroom.

"What? _Here?!"_ Adrien cried, ignoring the weird looks he got as he looked around. He didn't _see_ Ladybug, but maybe she was behind someone else-

"Oh my bad. It was just Pigtails again. She looks surprisingly like Ladybug from behind! False alarm, Loverboy."

Adrien sighed and took his seat.

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"Adrieeeeeeeeeeen." Plagg whined.

"What?" Adrien asked, looking over at his Kwami as he furiously tapped at the video game controller.

"I'm hungry!"

"Then eat some cheese."

"I already ate it all!"

"What?" Adrien exclaimed, pausing the game. "How could you have eaten all that already?"

"There's been a lot of akumas lately?"

Adrien sighed. "Well, I can't get _more._ I'm a model, Plagg, I'm not supposed to have that much cheese! You're supposed to ration it, you know this!"

Plagg sighed and drifted slowly down to the couch. "I'm so hungry... I might die. I can't even float anymore. I need food.

"Well, what do you want _me_ to do about it?"

Plagg hummed in thought, his little paws resting on his cheeks. "We could go to that one bakery and get s cheese danish or something."

"You mean the bakery by the Seine?" Adrien asked.

Plagg wrinkled his nose. "No! The one Pigtails lives above." He let out s dreamy sigh. "They have the best cheese danishes."

Adrien watched his Kwami carefully. "How do you know that?"

Plagg shrugged. "I get around. Can we go? Pleaaaase. I'm going to _starve."_

Alright, fine!" Adrien threw his arms in the air and stood up. "Let's go."

It wasn't until a little later that day when Adrien went to grab a water that he saw five wheels of Camembert.

"Plagg, you have _five wheels_ of cheese here!" Adrien exclaimed.

"Whaaaaat? Really? Oh well, that cheese danish was wonderful. We should go to Pigtails bakery more often."

Adrien could only sigh at how ridiculous his Kwami could get.

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"Hey, Adrien. You should be partners with Pigtails for that physics project." Plagg said offhandedly on Adrien's way to school.

"But I was going to be partners with Nino again-"

"But you're always partners with Nino. You should let Alya be partners with him. Besides, Nino and Alya aren't terrible at physics, they would work well together. You always do most of the work because you know too much. And Pigtails is terrible at physics. She needs your help, let's be real."

"Uhh... Since when are you so interested in my friends?" Adrien asked. He was starting to get seriously confused with Plagg's odd behavior of the last few weeks.

"I'm not. They're lame. Get cooler friends. But keep Pigtails, she's nice."

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

 **' _Hey look, it's Pigtails!'_**

Chat Noir's head whipped around as Plagg's voice echoed in his head. He was in the middle of fighting a particularly nasty akuma, who was causing a Paris-wide power outage to use the electricity to zap people.

 _'Where? What is she doing, it's too dangerous to be out here!'_

 _ **'Oh, haha, oops. It's only Ladybug. Tell her I said hello!'**_

Chat Noir growled under his breath at his irritating Kwami.

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

"So..." Plagg drawled one day as Adrien sat at an empty table in the library. He was trying to get his homework done before he had to go home because the rest of his day was chalk-packed with photo shoots.

"What is it?" Adrien sighed, a bad feeling creeping up on him.

"You know how Kwamis are basically little Gods?"

Adrien frowned and slowly nodded. "Yeah...?"

"Then consider this divine intervention!"

And before Adrien's dread could even set in, Plagg was yelling ( _very loudly), "OMG, ADRIEN THINKS MARINETTE IS SOOO HAWT!"_

Adrien squeaked. Alya started screaming, and Marinette started coughing violently her chair tipped backwards and she sprawled on the carpet.

 _Damnit, Plagg!_

"I-I uh...!" Adrien stuttered, looking around. _Everyone_ was looking at him now. Most of them had smug grins or exasperated expressions.

 _"What?!"_ Chloe shrieked, knocking her chair over as she stood up. "Who said that?! Adrikins loves _me!"_

 _"I knew it!"_ Alya was still yelling. "Oh my God, when's the wedding?! Can I be the Godparent of your first child?! I have first dibs!! Nino, you best get in line if you want dibs on the second kid!"

We _aren't_ getting married!" Marinette squeaked at her friend.

"I-I'm sorry, Marinette!" Adrien said quickly. "I-I have no idea who said that! D-don't worry, I uh I don't think you're hot! I mean, not that you're _not, er,_ I mean you're pretty! Really pretty! Uh! B-but I don't like, have a crush on you or anything... Um, I mean not that there's any reason for someone _not_ to have a crush on you! You're great! I uh- bye!" Adrien grabbed his books and sprinted from the library, everyone standing shocked and silent from his outburst of word vomit.

 _Plagg is in_ sooo _much trouble._

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match._**

 **"So, Chat? What would you do if... If somebody said that the person you... like... thought you were... hot?" Ladybug asked the next time they had patrol. They stood on top of Notre Dame, looking out over their city.**

"W-what?" Chat asked.

"Never mind. It's... stupid." She said.

Chat frowned. Somebody thought ladybug was hot? Well, most people did but... or was she talking about someone in her civilian life?

He was reminded of earlier that week when Plagg had yelled in the library. What if she was talking about that? ... No, there's no way Marinette was Ladybug. It's impossible.

"Plagg?"

"Yes?" His Kwami was once again surfing the internet while he laid on his bed, thinking.

"Do you think it's weird about what Ladybug said today? How only two days ago you were yelling that I thought Mari was cute?"

Plagg shrugged. "Only if Pigtails has a crush on you." And so only he could hear, "which she does."

"Oh. Right. Yeah, I was just being crazy. Mari doesn't have a crush on me. She can barely be in the same room as me for more than a few minutes without trying to run away."

"Yeah. Sure." Plagg said.

 ** _Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match._**

"Hey look, Pigtails!" Plagg said as Adrien was walking down the sidewalk later that week.

"Should I go say hi?" Adrien asked.

"Yeah! You should surprise her, do the 'Guess who?' thing!"

"Alright!" Adrien stupidly agreed, pushing Plagg back down in his shirt pocket as he turned down the street Marinette was walking down. He sneakily ran up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. She squeaked and grabbed his hands.

"Guess who!" He said, laughing as she tried to pull his hands away.

"Chat, I don't have time for this game!" She said.

She called him Chat. She thought he was Chat.

No, not _thought. She knew._

 _Oh my God. Marinette knows._

Chat, let go!" But how? How did she-

' _I don't have time for this game!'_

The only other person he did that to was...

 _Ladybug._

 _...Shit._

 _Marinette is Ladybug._

"Plagg!" He hissed quietly so she wouldn't hear him. "Why didn't you tell me she was Ladybug?!"

"Hu?" Plagg said, poking out of his shirt. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

"What?! What gave you that idea?!"

"I've only been dropping hints for three months now." Plagg rolled his eyes.

"Chat!" Marienette said angrily. "Let go!"

"What do I do?!" He whisper-yelled at his Kwami.

Plagg crossed his tiny arms. "Let go?"

"But then she'll see me!"

"But you already know she's Ladybug, so what's the matter?"

Adrien opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by Marinette/Ladybug as she finally pried his hands away and turned around.

"Cha- A-A-Adrien?!" She choked.

"Heh, hi Mari!" He said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Hey Pigtails. How's it going?" Plagg drawled from where he was still poking his head out from Adrien's pocket.

Her eyes widened comically, the blue color drawing his attention. How hadn't he noticed before?!

She opened her mouth to say something.

And fainted.

"Marinette!" Adrien exclaimed.

"That went well!" Plagg said happily.


End file.
